.

This is a shout out.
Things are not okay.
I don't know how to make them okay.
Tiny bad things are piling upon each other to make the greatest bad I've yet to encounter.
Which is really saying something as I rarely have any good anymore.

Blue Streaks

I recently got blue streaks. [I still owe my best friend money. That's how broke I am 'cause of them.] But anyway... they looked pretty cool for about two weeks but then the blue started washing off. Or sweating off as I wasn't showering much anyway, just to be cautious. But my sweaty, B.O. causing precautions didn't help at all. Eventually the blue started fading and some yellow started showing and that gave my hair a green effect. I was even cool with that. But now, after less than one month of getting the streaks, I have gone almost completely blonde.

It is possibly the single most horrible thing that has happened to my hair. Ever. I have literally only 2 blue streaks left and you have to really look for them. So being the weird, creepy, weird person I am, I cut off the remaining blue strands of my hair and put em in this little plastic bag and I shall save the strand forever.

One day, I'll be cleaning out my junk drawer and my kid[s] will go, "Hey mum, what's that?" And I will smugly tell them, "That is my hair back from 2011, when I dyed it blue."
Then my kids will gush over how awesome their mum is/was/forever will be. Or you know, make fun of me behind my back. Or scream. Whichever. I rather like the first option best. It reminds me of Artificial Intelligence, how the alien thingies used David's mum's hair to bring her back to life. So there; yet another reason for what I did being a god idea; I can be cloned later in life. And who wouldn't want that? =b

On moving and how gross the whole thing is

We're moving to Lahore in a couple of weeks. On the 22nd to be exact. So on top of University applications, catching up on my reading, studying for entry tests, generally being lazy, I now have packing to be worried about.

One thing about packing is that it's tiring. And dirty. So two things, really. We haven't tackled the whole putting-things-in-boxes part yet, we've just gotten rid of all the curtains and the carpets. So now the neighbors can spy at us at night and the rooms have become very echo-ey.

The carpet-removing guys came today. I had no idea exactly how much furniture we own until I had to help move it so we could pull the carpet from underneath. I have a back-ache to prove my mazdoori. And the dust! Oh my God, the dust. There was a whole layer of dust under the carpets. It was disgusting. [Had to help vacuum that too. My back is dying.]

And the worst part; the dust bunnies. I really do not know why they have such a cute name. Seriously. They're gross. They seemed to have taken over the entire house. My friend says I should try burning them. But another warned me that it smells like Orc poop so I'm not going to try.

I also learned that I'm a pack rat. I have so many things. I am not looking forward to throwing stuff away, but that'll come too. Mum never lets me keep stuff like, say, tissues I used to wipe my face after crying while watching Deathly Hallows. yes. I have them. Don't judge me. It was a special moment.

Anyway, other than the whole icky factor, moving is rather depressing. I never had an actual home but this one feels like it. 'Cause I spent almost 7 years here. Longer than I've spent in any place yet. But eh, the new house there has an actual garden so I guess it's all cool. Little things, yeah?

Tomorrow, I shall rest. And hopefully study a bit.

High Time

I created this space to vent. It's high time I used it already.

My life is a mess right now. It's like a tornado of everything that could've gone wrong came and created havoc... Left chaos in its midst. It's not a good feeling. Nor a very pretty sight.

Love, platonic, the other kind, it just sucks. It leaves you a helpless, quivering wreck in its wake. Luck has never been on my side but this year is just... unbearable. This is so pointless. I can't even properly vent in my own personal space. People I know read this. I'll drop hints. Or put it as directly as I can without proper details.

I'm not anyone's favorite person on earth right now. My family hates me. I don't mean the normal hate. I mean hate hate. I guess I deserve it, with all my emotional drama. Sometimes, I make cutting remarks even when I have no reason to be angry. So I guess I had that one coming... People can only handle bitchiness for so long. There's no real acceptance, you know. People might tell you they accept you; they usually just don't know you enough. Or they do, and then try to mold you into something, or someone, they prefer.

That has always been my comeback. "Just accept me already". It's my defense against "Why are you such a bitch?"

It's probably high time that I realize the acceptance isn't coming. From anyone.

Those days

You know those days that leave you a sorry mess? Yeah. Today was like that.

-.-

I have a blog. I have a blog. I have a blog.

Saying [or typing] that multiple times isn't really helping me digest the fact.

I.
Have.
A.
Blog.

Still weird.

Now I'm just cursing myself for it. What's the point of this? I knew I'd have nothing to write. And here is proof. I'm just ranting. Does anyone really want to read this? Which is, in itself, another problem, really. If I had gone anonymous, that would have been a lot better than this. I have no idea what to say without having the shit hit the fan. Yes, I did quote Anita Blake there.

Dammit.

I have finally hit rock bottom. No. I hit rock bottom 3 months ago. Now I'm staring up at it.  I'm officially the [not-so] proud owner of a Tumblr AND a blog.

YaY.

-.-

Oh well, anything to put off studying.