High Time

I created this space to vent. It's high time I used it already.

My life is a mess right now. It's like a tornado of everything that could've gone wrong came and created havoc... Left chaos in its midst. It's not a good feeling. Nor a very pretty sight.

Love, platonic, the other kind, it just sucks. It leaves you a helpless, quivering wreck in its wake. Luck has never been on my side but this year is just... unbearable. This is so pointless. I can't even properly vent in my own personal space. People I know read this. I'll drop hints. Or put it as directly as I can without proper details.

I'm not anyone's favorite person on earth right now. My family hates me. I don't mean the normal hate. I mean hate hate. I guess I deserve it, with all my emotional drama. Sometimes, I make cutting remarks even when I have no reason to be angry. So I guess I had that one coming... People can only handle bitchiness for so long. There's no real acceptance, you know. People might tell you they accept you; they usually just don't know you enough. Or they do, and then try to mold you into something, or someone, they prefer.

That has always been my comeback. "Just accept me already". It's my defense against "Why are you such a bitch?"

It's probably high time that I realize the acceptance isn't coming. From anyone.